


Not The Same, But Still Good

by Zinthezinner



Category: Love Live! School Idol Festival ALL STARS (Video Game)
Genre: F/F, Gen, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Recovery, also the kanapomu is kinda ambiguous, don't worry it's soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-03
Updated: 2020-08-03
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:21:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,186
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25687987
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zinthezinner/pseuds/Zinthezinner
Summary: Ayumu finds something sad, and tries to help Kanata be healthier. Soft stuff.Please read the tags and be careful! This fic is about getting healthier, but it does still touch on self-harm.
Relationships: Konoe Kanata/Uehara Ayumu
Comments: 4
Kudos: 25





	Not The Same, But Still Good

“Um. You wouldn’t happen to know your inseam, would you?”  
  
Kanata looks down at Ayumu, who is retreating from having taken her hip measurement.  
  
“... Not off the top of my head, no~”  
“Ah. Thought not.”  
“Sorry~”  
“N-no no, it’s alright! It’s just pants…”  
“I can change the outfit to a skirt if you’d prefer~”  
“No, I said I’d help you with this, so it makes sense if I actually help you. So. Is it alright if I..?”  
  
Taking a moment, she closes her eyes.  
  
…  
  
“Kana-”  
“Yes.”  
“So it’s alright if I take this measurement? I will need to go. Uh. A bit high up!”  
“I know what an inseam is, Ayumu-chan~”  
“R. Right. Okay! Stay still!”  
“You might not like what you see~”  
  
Kanata can see her friend close her eyes to laugh it off as she lifts her skirt.  
  
“I know you’re a bit chunky, but you’re just cuddly! Nothing wrong wi-”  
  
That would be the moment she opens her eyes.  
  
“A-ah.”  
  
Ayumu isn’t measuring yet, hands hesitant just under the garment. Kanata looks away to one side in shame.  
  
An epiphany strikes just a bit too late, making her feel stupid.  
  
“If Kanata-chan’s just too hot and cute for you to handle, she can measure herself~”  
“N-no no, it’s not that! Not that you’re not cute though! It’s just… these scars…”  
“...”  
“Do you… want to talk about it? It’s okay if you don’t! I just… I’m here for you, y’know?”  
“... I’m feeling kinda sleepy, can we get the rest of these measurements done please~?”  
  
A nod from Ayumu as she sets up the tape and takes the inseam length puts Kanata’s mind more at ease.  
  


* * *

  
“I need some arm measurements now, and your lovely jumper here is a bit too loose for me to get accurate ones! So… if you’ll juuuust-”  
  
Kanata shrugs her jumper off, letting it flop to the floor. The measurements start, but…  
  
“Wow, you must have some sort of an arm thing, huh~? You weren’t looking this hard when you were down there~”  
“What do you mean?"  
"Nothing, nothing~"  
"Okay!"  
“You won’t find any there, by the way.”  
“Huh?”  
“I don’t do it there.”  
  
Caught.  
  
“I don’t follow?”  
“Ayumu-chan.”  
“S-sorry. I just hadn’t really looked there before, so I thought maybe I’d missed something.”  
“Well, ya didn’t. Haruka-chan would notice if they showed up there, so I don’t do it there.”  
“You’re worried about your sister seeing?”  
  
A nod.  
  
“Haruka-chan doesn’t know about it then…”  
“I don’t think that’s true.”  
“No?”  
“Nah, I don’t think anything gets by my lil sister. I reckon she just hasn’t brought it up yet.”  
“Some of them didn’t look very fresh to me…”  
“That’d be because they’d healed~”  
“Um. Do you mind if I ask how long?”  
“Yeah, but I’ll answer anyway. When I got my scholarship to Nijigaku, I started working harder. Naps in the day of course, but I’ve gotta stay up at night. It gets lonely, and I get frustrated, and it helps keep me focused~”  
“I-I see…”  
“Can’t say I’d recommend it exactly, but it’s what works for me.”  
“That doesn’t sound very good… I hate the idea of you being sad like that, there’s gotta be something else you can do!”  
“Like what?”  
“Well, Sasuke helps me with all kinds of stuff! He’s a good boy! He comforts me and helps me focus! maybe you could get a pet?”  
“That sounds nice, but my folks aren’t keen on it~”  
“Then… a charm! Something you can look at to make you feel loved and motivated!”  
“‘Charm’? Like what?”  
“Ummm… I don’t know yet, but I can get you something!”  
“Liiiike… a wedding ring? People look at those and feel loved and motivated~”  
  
Ayumu drops the tape to cover her face with her hands.  
  
“N-not like that!” comes out muffled, which makes Kanata giggle.  
“Relax, I’m kidding~”  
“O-oh. Of course! Right. Mm.”  
“You’re so adorable when you’re like this~”  
  
The only response is a groan.  
  
“Jokes aside, maybe you could get me a toy?”  
“A… toy..?”  
“Like a plushie or something. Nice and cute and cuddly~”  
“You think that’d help?” Ayumu asks, peeking out.  
“Well I can’t guarantee it’ll stop it entirely, but a gift like that from you by my side might help a little~”  
“That’s the best I can ask for! Alright, I’ll find something!”  
  


* * *

  
“Please take this!”  
“A present for Kanata-chan~? Is this what I think it is~?”  
“Mhm!”  
“But it’s too big to be a wedding ring… unless you’ve put it several layers down…”  
“K-Kanata-san! It’s not a wedding ring!”  
  
Opening it reveals that it is indeed not a wedding ring. It’s two plush toys, one of Ayumu and one of her pet snake Sasuke.  
  
“These don’t look official somehow.”  
“I made them myself! A-are they really that bad? Oh no…”  
“Nah, they’re pretty cute~ You work fast, it’s only been like 2 days~”  
“I’m gonna do everyone eventually, but I didn’t want to leave you without any for too long, so I worked really hard to get us done quickly! Sasuke was really easy, so don’t worry too much about that one!”  
“I imagine snakes can’t be that hard to do, yeah~”  
  
Ayumu shifts awkwardly, holding her arm with one hand.  
  
“Do you… like them? Do you think it’ll help?”  
  
Pulling the doll of Ayumu out and hugging it to her chest answers that question pretty nicely, Kanata reckons, but she vocalises as well.  
  
“I love it~”  
“Great! I’m glad.”  
“C’mere, I wanna hug the real deal too~”  
“Of course!”  
  
It’s nice to be so close… her hair smells so sweet, and she’s warm, and she’s soft. Kanata hopes it’s as nice for the other as it is for herself.  
  
“This feels nice~”  
“Remember it when you think about doing ‘that’ then. Can you do that for me?”  
“Aye ma’am, I can try~”  
“Good girl, good girl!”  
  
Pats… good…  
  
“Thank you. I’m serious.”  
“Of course! I’m here for you!”  
“That means a lot.”  
  
The embrace ends, and Kanata looks at the plushies again. She nods to herself. She can try.  
  


* * *

  
Kanata shakes her head to reset it like an etch-a-sketch. Ugh… this math problem is unreasonably hard. She stares at it, pouting as though that can solve it for her. One hand makes its way to her thigh without her noticing, and her eye is caught by the box she keeps her blades in.  
  
Tempting…  
  
She looks away, and the doll of Ayumu catches her eye.  
  
Kanata picks it up and looks it over. It’s well-made, and the textures are pleasant. There was a lot of care put into it, that much is obvious.  
  
She remembers the request to remember the hug when she thinks about ‘that’, and she holds the doll close. It’s not the same, but… it feels nice too. She doesn’t deserve ‘that’ now, not when she’s had something this sweet happen to her today.  
  
Setting it back next to Sasuke, she positions the doll of his owner to sit comfortably with him, and she smiles.  
  
“I think I can do this without ‘that’ for tonight…”  
  
Kanata lifts her pen.  
  
“Thank you, Ayumu-chan.”

**Author's Note:**

> Clearly the solution to not getting many views on niche pieces is to write pieces that are even more niche at 3am. I'm a genius.  
> If you've gotten this far, thank you! Please consider commenting and/or sharing it with your friends who can handle it.


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